200 Pounds Dancer!!
The title of this blog is inspired from a movie I recently watched ‘200 pounds beauty’. Movie wasn’t that great but the message given out was really sweet. Atleast I could relate to it in the best possible way. You don’t realize the worth of what you had until you lost it. I often crib to my close friends that god can make you dark or ugly or too thin but that won’t be as bad as being Fat!! And my close ones always reply “Darling, you don’t know the difference between being healthy and fat and that is why you say so. As long as you are healthy you needn’t worry about those extra pounds. Just work on staying fit even if you are plump”. And just see how sweetly they’ve used all the words (like plump, healthy, extra pounds) which to me sound like “Fat”. One word that I hate the most and yet too lazy to do anything seriously about it. Could I be any more pathetic than this?
But the point of writing this blog was not to tell you guys that I am fat. That I am, everyone who has seen me or my pic knows that. But the point am making here is that like there are some 200 pounds beauties there do exist 200 pounds dancers! Why do I say so is because looks don’t always talk the way they should. For e.g. when I tell a few people that I performed or I’m practicing my dance most common reaction I get is – “Oh God! No wonder I felt the tremors here in India”. But you know what the dancer inside of me tempts me to tell him? “Try and beat me on the stage. I would also like to listen to the tremors of the audience’s applaud for the winner”.
Well I wasn’t the same confident person since childhood. I was a shy, timid plump girl who had such great friends that they were embarrassed to dance next to me because I wasn’t thin! You think this is an over-statement? It’s not. Picture this -Every year we had this cultural fest wherein kids used to dance. The main events during that entire evening apart from games were the dance shows. For 3-4 years I used to sit back home thinking maybe I am a misfit. Maybe I shouldn’t dance. Maybe I should try something else. But Imagine 12 of your friends practicing entire day for weeks well ahead for the series of dances and no one to play with you esp. during the time of the May vacation after the torturous year in school has ended. Well it required extreme positivity and patience to understand that they are your “real” friends and you must understand their viewpoint too.
Then while I was in my 9th grade in school, this patience turned into frustration. I somehow managed to convince 2 of my friends to dance with me on some stupid song which I’m sure you wouldn’t know. I was the lead dancer there and these 2 friends of mine behaved as though they are doing a favor on me by dancing with me. My mum played a very important role in convincing these 2 girls to dance with me. I still remember her struggle to cheer me up and get me on stage. How can I ever forget that?! It was this moment onwards that I never looked back. The year after that since it was a crucial year; my 10th standard at school I didn’t dance but I choreographed dances for kids aged 7-12 years old. And believe me on this I got “once more” shouts for each of these 3 dances and a gift prize (in cash) for one of these dances. This prize money was more than enough for the wonderful treat that we had at a local nearby restaurant.
Years have gone by and I’ve never missed an opportunity to dance or to make people dance. More than those 12 friends out there in my building I had found real good innocent friends in those 12 year olds. They dance like you want them to dance. If you tell them you have to wear a red shirt they see to it that they have the right shade of red with them by the time the D-day approaches. As much as I enjoy the praises and the prizes I also enjoy the fact that you don’t need to run behind them to dance the way you want. They will try and imitate each of your moves.
Over the years it felt as though my childhood had returned and it returned faster than I thought. And today as I see myself if I have changed, well I haven’t! I still want to dance for any and every occasion. I still don’t care that I am not a pretty delicate sight out there while I’m on stage. I still thank my mum for I know I have her genes when it comes to dancing (because she is my favorite and the most versatile dancer in my entire family). I still love to watch dance shows. I still don’t bother to convince people that despite of being fat I can dance. And will I bother if anyone thinks of me as a 200 pounds dancer? I think not because I see the word ‘dancer’ much heavier and meaningful than the weight that’s mentioned before it.
